So it’s the last Friday of July, that Saturday of summer. Are your feet up as you read this, school folks? Will you still get to sneak in some R&R as August rises over the horizon? I hope so.
I have a nearly finished article that is basically “Up Your Governance Game, Now!” exploring how some of our traditional, accepted “truisms” about governance and board/head collaboration aren’t serving us and why. Some basic reframing could greatly improve the context for collaboration and communication between these school leaders. Schools need both visionary heads and strong boards as a powerful team to thrive. I was originally going to publish this a few weeks ago, but Life got in the way. And then last week, it really seemed more relevant to reflect on leading through this unpredictable, anxiety producing moment in American history.
And then just recently, I got a question as to my “take” on team retreats.
So as its team retreat season, and as it seems appropriate to launch into what will be a series of articles about governance work in early August, here we are in retreat-ville. I’m sure you’re either returning from one or have one fully planned, but I offer this as some basis for reflection and for the future.
And I hope if you are currently in retreat-ville, a refreshing beverage of your choice is easily available.
What Makes A Good Team Retreat?
Long time readers of Talking Out of School know my three rules of administration:
People Lead Complicated Lives
Be a Human
No One Reads Anything
And it turns out, these all apply to my general approach when it comes to retreats!
People Lead Complicated Lives
I love a good retreat. Sometimes it feels hard to pull yourself away but getting out of the routine is crucially important to focus on the bigger picture and to team build. Strong teams make a difference and a healthy team is good for the health of the organization. As my first head of school told me years ago, “A fish rots from the head down.”
Team health, like individual health, is something we strive for, that we try to incorporate healthy habits to maintain, where we hit peaks when we feel we can do anything and then we also get lazy, sleep in, let things get a little frayed at the edges and then… we pick up the pieces and recommit. It’s normal. Team health waxes and wanes and even the best teams are usually a little lumpy. So a good retreat can be a structure that recommits to team health.
And of course it’s challenging to maintain team health because teams are made up of people and people have complicated lives. They have many demands on them from every direction. They have areas of great competence and confidence. They have areas of great insecurity and self doubt. They have days they love their job and their colleagues and days they think it looks like it might be kind of fun to be working at Trader Joes.
And then there’s the person who was on a performance improvement plan last year and is very, very nervous. There’s the brand new person who is still figuring out the door to the supply closet from the door to the bathroom. There’s the person dealing with a difficult family illness. There’s the person going through a divorce. Etcetera, etcetera…
All the things. They’ll all show up on your team. Some years will be quieter than others. Some people, no matter what is going on with them, will still knock off their goals like it’s a child’s carnival game and others don’t, and we’re all in the “don’t” category from time to time.
“All the things” can’t and shouldn’t be central to the content of the retreat. But a retreat can provide a space out of time, away from the things, for people to focus on connecting to each other, reflecting on the work for the year ahead and getting excited about the larger vision you’re all working towards to support kids.
“All the things” can also make timing a pain. You want your team to have time off in the summer; you know it’s absolutely crucial. But it can make it challenging to nail down a plan.
At Walnut Hill, I joined a senior team who typically did an overnight retreat both at the end of year, right after graduation, and in early August. That was a lot and as the years went by and we had a new head, it turned into one overnight.
At Westover, I established a senior team retreat and it migrated around the calendar. We pretty much always did a one day offsite for an end of the year reflection and dinner. We did an August overnight a few times and then there were the years we did a mid year retreat in the winter. They were some of the retreats I look back on most fondly. People were happy to get a break from campus and we had a lot of good, juicy, meaningful real work to dive into. And there was the time our eight team members crowded into a tapas restaurant for Valentine’s Day dinner. We bought the poor couple who ended up getting stuck near us a round of drinks for putting up with our shenanigans.
Of course, you need some kind of extended and focused planning session to start the year. And sure, that can be the focus of an offsite retreat but I think team building and thinking big thoughts about the future are really the highest and best use of the time and money resources spent on an offsite. And you can do that at different times of the year.
I think it’s important to get people off campus, overnight somewhere at least once a year. The novelty alone helps the learning stick a little more than it otherwise would.
People Lead Complicated Lives, the sequel
The other component I want to talk about is retreat content. If trust falls work for you, great! If you want to do some kind of personality test or INFJ thing or a strengths assessment, cool. A head I worked for had us form two concentric circles and then we had to move from person to person maintaining eye contact for a minute (I think?) Whatever it was, it was a really long time and it was super uncomfortable and it was hard not to giggle.
The team building/bonding piece is important and it can take many forms. You do you, team leaders.
My take is that f you want to build a team to be better collaborators or to genuinely share across silos or to ignite more creativity, you get a better result by putting the work at hand in the center of the room and creating structures so people can really engage in it, to surface disagreements or to share anxieties about what about what’s not working. To steal a quote from one of my mentors, Dr. Kenneth Sole, “The resolution of (interpersonal) conflict seems to have the greatest benefit on group cohesion, relationship building and accelerated development of creativity & growth.”
A facilitator can help with this. But the team leader can, too, by modeling - putting genuine questions on the table that have no “right” answer, expressing your own concerns or anxieties about all that schools have on their plates right now. You can do it playfully - I’ve used crayons and big sticky notes to good effect. There are so many “good fights” to be had right now! Should we ban cell phones and if we have, is our enforcement plan realistic? Or - How do we support both free expression and a culture of inclusivity in these polarized times? Or even, what’s something people feel they’re wasting their time on right now that the school has “always done” but perhaps should reconsider? Pose that question and let people submit their answers anonymously, then unleash the group in a debate.
Another of my favorites is an anonymous SWOT analysis. Frame up what you want to analyze - the state of the school in general? Enrollment strategy? A particular program? Then have your team submit responses to what they see are the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Compile them anonymously and note overlaps (“3 people think our social media strategy is a strength”). Again, a facilitator or consultant can compile the responses or an admin can do it, and if trust is high, you can do it. Throw the responses up on the screen and dig in. I have never had this not result in surfacing some important elephants in the room.
What’s the case for stirring the pot when many people see retreats as time for coming together? I don’t think you can meaningfully come together when there are disagreements that people feel they can’t surface or when everyone is stuck in “polite.” You can debate and preserve relationships - in fact, the debate will likely strengthen the relationship if you as the leader can help guide and move the conversation forward. Everyone will be relieved that the quiet part is finally said out loud.
In cultures where getting along is highly valued and conflict avoidance is common, you probably need some training wheels and the point is not to blow everything up. The point is to grow your team’s skills at having nuanced and spirited conversations around very important topics. This can help grow everyone’s tolerance for a little conflict and disagreement, even yours as the team leader.
Be a Human
But definitely also just have some fun! Do the shenanigans, too. Part of what supports good group dynamics is to have some fun together. Have you ever noticed the arc of attending a workshop - where at first people are pretty tightly keeping to themselves but then as they mingle and get to know each other a little, they start to share and loosen up and then the last night people are like old friends, pledging to stay in touch? Often people serving together on school teams are in their own silo and they may have fond feelings for each other but it’s easy to have fond feelings at a distance.
Activities can help. I will always be grateful to the Walnut Hill director of facilities for patiently teaching me how to “big ball” bowl when he had the misfortune of having me on his team. I’ve been on wine tastings and distillery tours. Walks in picturesque places, getting a little lost (getting lost is definitely a bonding experience!). A post dinner, hilarious game of “Celebrity” where I learned who Rory McElroy was. And for me, nothing beats sharing a lovely meal together. It’s so humane. Don’t skip dessert.
No One Reads Anything
I have assigned readings for retreats and I have been assigned readings. I feel like most of the time, results are meh. The team isn’t signed up for a book club and even many people who sign up for a book club only come for the wine and the company. If there are some through lines you think are very important in a book, don’t hide them but spell out the main ideas you want the team to glean and why they’re relevant. Maybe your culture is different, but I think sometimes the aspiration we have to ignite a rich debate around a book isn’t going to come to pass. And at its worst, it can feel like busy work to already-busy professionals if you don’t meaningfully engage with the book’s content or relate it back to the work of the school in very specific ways. Really, it’s the same as prepping for a productive class. Articles might be a better bet.
Other thoughts
You don’t need a huge budget to have a great retreat, although it’s always nice to go somewhere lovely and for each team member to have her own hotel room and to have the kind of meal you wouldn’t indulge in normally. You do want somewhere comfortable enough and natural beauty goes a long way.
If you’re not a head and a senior team, chances are your budget for a retreat is much smaller. If you are really trying to do something on a shoestring, if you ask around, I bet there is a really good chance someone in your community has a vacation home they’d be happy to lend you and local libraries often have meeting rooms they book for free or for a very low fee. And don’t forget the fun snacks. The humanities department at Walnut Hill used these options for offsite retreats and even when I wasn’t teaching in the department, I tried to go because I just couldn’t quit that great group of humans. The fulfilling exchange of ideas and the abundance of laughter is a powerful draw.
Get people out. Ask them challenging questions. Don’t freak out if they disagree and as the leader, help move them to seeing a way forward putting the kids and the school’s mission and values at the forefront. Then go have a good laugh together, whether it’s at a five star restaurant or a cookout. I guarantee those team members will see each other differently when they return to school.
And I hope you are looking at a spectacular summer weekend of weather as we are here in Connecticut! Enjoy.
Julie
Stony Creek Strategy - how we can help!
If you want a flavor for the “Effective Communication in a Time of Polarization” workshop, the good people at Blackbaud have invited me to give a free one hour webinar focusing on parent communications on August 7. Come join us!
Retreat facilitation - You’ve heard my thoughts. Reach out if you’d like to discuss how I can support your team’s goals in a retreat format.
Booking on-campus and remote workshops on Effective Communication in a Time of Polarization into the fall. You’re not crazy - people are more complicated to deal with right now. This workshop looks at the context we’re in and offers practical solutions to manage difficult conversations and conflict. The core workshop centers on the school/parent relationship but it can be tailored to apply to any school audience - administrators, boards, etc. We’re in a different world and we need to be communicating differently to connect and move forward together.
For new heads - 1-3 years - I’m piloting a new program that combines leadership coaching and communications coaching, supporting you in both fully stepping into your authority as the school leader and in developing your leadership voice in all the many ways you need to communicate with your community, including those times when you need crisis/sensitive comms consultation.
And I have a few leadership coaching spots available for 24-25 for heads or senior leaders.
If you’re interested, schedule a meeting or drop me a line at jfaulstich@stonycreekstrategy.com