Transitions are Hard - And We Can Manage Them

We're all going through them and I have some specific thoughts for new heads and heads starting a final year at their current school.

Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash

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I have several in process TOOS drafts as well as many obligations at the moment and what I thought I would be publishing this week I just don’t have the bandwidth to revise well. So given that it’s the first week of school, I offer up this lightly edited post from last year on transitions.

A wise woman said to me many years ago, life never remains static. I think about that all the time and it has more resonance the older I get.

During the first session of the pilot Boss Skills Lab, it occurred to me that a number of the participants (maybe a majority?) are experiencing a head transition at their schools. And of course, we’re all experiencing the unpredictability and uncertainty in the world. I keep thinking one of the most challenging parts of eldercare is the total ambiguity of what’s next. It’s all taxing. We make one transition only to discover another one is on the horizon.

Then there’s the best thing about social media - all the “back to school” photos! Unbelievably, many of my friends’ kids have now aged out of this wonderful ritual but I still enjoy what I get. It feels like this wonderful invitation to just be openly and unironically sentimental about transitions; it feels like all the hope of both youth and a new school year distilled in an image. The very excellent script for the welcome to the Westover graduation ceremony I inherited and had no need to edit talked to the parents about their sense of wonder that their little child had become this poised, accomplished young person seated on the risers in front of them. Never a dry eye in the house, including mine!

That’s the exciting aspect of transition.

Many years ago after a grouchy January professional development day at the end of a winter break - one I had planned - and I was definitely feeling, “stupid faculty - no one appreciates my hard work!” - my head of school said to me something so simple but so true I think of it all the time - “Transitions are hard.” I think of it when I see a kid who doesn’t want to leave the Target toy aisle. I think of it on dark and rainy mornings lying in bed. I thought of it this morning when I fished a jacket out of the coat closet because although everyone in New England is now mandated to love “sweatah weathah” (and I really, really do!) it’s hard to put on real shoes and a jacket rather than just taking the dog out first thing in a sweatshirt and sandals.

Transitions can be exciting. They are also challenging, tiring and make you use muscles you haven’t used in a while, and sometimes, haven’t used at all.