Talking Out of School

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Talking Out of School
Talking Out of School
Top Five Tips on Saying No

Top Five Tips on Saying No

Yep. I said it. Big pile of nope!

Julie Faulstich's avatar
Julie Faulstich
Mar 11, 2025
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Someday, I want to do a post on all the weird search results I’ve gotten on Unsplash over the past few years. When I searched on “no” this AM it was so odd - one option was a happy little kid on a swing - ??? So instead, I present what looks like some shaving cream on fake wood paneling. :) Photo by Daniel Herron on Unsplash

My first approach to this topic was to write something for those people who hate to say no, who say yes to things they don’t really want or need to because they can’t bring themselves to say no. And then I realized that I think just about everyone hates to say no at some level, even “no” people. I’m sure admins out there are familiar with people you consider “yes’ people who are inclined to figure out how to make the thing happen and “no” people who cut new ideas or potential solutions off at the knees. (Tip: All heads should be looking for CFOs who are “yes” people…)

And when I really thought about it, maybe the reflexive “no” is just a way to avoid the extended discomfort of contemplating saying “no” and it feels like the “safer” choice. That’s my theory and I’m sticking with it. Because if you are saying no because it’s your power trip, I can’t help you.

So I decided pretty much everyone might benefit from a few tips around how to say no.

ONE

It’s OK to say no

“Clear is kind” is a thing for a reason. Maybe the worst situation is someone saying yes when they don’t want to do the thing, or don’t have the bandwidth to do the thing or don’t want to disappoint the person who’s asking. Or even, the thing being asked of you isn’t really possible (ie - Let’s budget for double the annual fund for next year!) and you reflexively say yes anyway even though your stomach has turned over. But a very lukewarm “yes” is just a slow moving “no” and it’s going to cause

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