May Hall Pass
Spring has exploded, along with all the many school events!
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Here’s more information on how to work with Julie Faulstich and Stony Creek Strategy. Contact us- always happy to chat!
Link of the month
Come for the private texts between Blake Lively and Taylor Swift (“What did Trav think?”) and stay for a front row seat to watch a partnership go from collaboration to opposition and tension to extreme hostility.
Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni and the Hollywood Feud of the Century
(It’s paywalled but accessible through a free trial sub to New York Magazine.)
It is quite a remarkable story and one where both parties (although in my view, Baldoni and his fellow producers much more than Lively) were pretty clueless about interpersonal dynamics and what hill to die on. And no doubt, the set sounds pretty icky for the women in the first part of filming.
It is also endlessly interesting that when Lively reworked a scene in the screenplay, she invited Baldoni to a meeting to discuss it with her husband, Marvel superhero/wealthy and powerful business entrepreneur Ryan Reynolds and her best friend, Taylor Swift. But Baldoni was the director and his production company was producing - Lively felt like she needed with the backup (or the flex) to get her way with someone who was so far down the Hollywood food chain as to not be visible from where the other three sat. But the director and producer are the boss, after all - it was dueling authority effects.
And then when things have gone totally off the rails, there seems to be a choice to pull out the old “this woman is emotional and unhinged and unreasonable” card. And many, many people are eager to jump on that bandwagon. Sigh.
Yesterday, the two settled the lawsuit and released a remarkably amiable joint statement. I doubt they got to win/win but they probably got to ok/ok so they everyone could move on with both of their (very wealthy!) lives.
What is coaching, anyway? And is it accessible to me?
I wanted to address this because I get this question a lot. And this is purely my take. I’m sure a lot of experienced coaches would debate me, especially those who are full time executive coaches. Respect to all that training and experience!
There is a lot of ink spilled on what coaching isn’t. It’s not mentorship. It’s not advising. And while that’s true, it’s not always the whole story.
When I was a head, one of the most impactful single moments I had with a coach was straight up advice given at a crucial moment. I was free to take or leave the advice but it made me see options in a completely new way.
Coaching is certainly not therapy. The goal isn’t to explore root causes of your choices or patterns but to process how you’re approaching situations right now.
It’s not leadership instruction. (You’re already an accomplished leader and what I find is that often people don’t appreciate how accomplished they really are - and realizing that can be part of a coaching process.) Coaching is a practical, confidential tool to support self reflection and awareness, clarify priorities and improve leadership performance where you have identified gaps and needs.
And as a former head, I am particularly well equipped to assist with “sense making"- helping to deconstruct dynamics in organizations between complicated constituents, often with conflicting needs. It can be hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes when you’re immersed in a community.
Coaching is for heads but it can also be for senior or midlevel leaders grappling with how to be effective in their role. It can be about developing your leadership capacities and dealing with the realities and complications of managing “up.” As one head commented to me, a coaching package will have much more immediate impact than sending someone to another conference.
I have found coaching to be so rewarding that I’m expanding my own skill set by attending the Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute this fall. I can’t wait!
I have some available coaching spaces for the 26-27 academic year. Reach out if you want to chat and explore what coaching might look like for you. It can be a limited package of a few sessions or a longer engagement. Contact us for more info - happy to chat.
Do we need strategy? Where do we even start?
That’s why, in addition to our Align and Advance full strategic planning work, we offer a simpler, faster entry point: The Diagnostic.
You might be feeling this if:
your current strategic plan has gone stale
enrollment isn’t where it needs to be and either you’re not sure why or you’re overwhelmed with theories as to why
you’ve just completed accreditation and aren’t sure what to do with the recommendations
the head–board partnership feels sleepy or stuck
The Diagnostic is a focused, short-term engagement designed to help you quickly identify where the main tensions emerge and how to move forward.
Through targeted 1-1 interviews and a review of key materials, we identify what’s getting in the way, where there is (or isn’t) alignment and where you can take action immediately.
You walk away with a clear set of findings and practical next steps. The Diagnostic doesn’t replace a full strategic planning process, but it’s a practical way to efficiently get on the right trajectory. Contact us for more info.
Where to find me
I’m heading up to the International Coalition of Girls Schools Global Forum June 24-26th in beautiful Toronto. I’ll be presenting an “Impact” session based on the popular post on Getting Out of Being the Fixer In Chief. I’d love to chat with any TOOS readers. I’m also planning on a leisurely-ish, road trip from CT through New York to the conference, stopping at women’s suffrage sights and maybe other attractions along the way. So if you’re located along I-90 in NY and want to grab a coffee, let me know! (Hit reply to this email or reach out at jfaulstich@stonycreekstrategy.com)
I’m working with my friends at the Association of Academic Leaders again this summer. I’m teaching two asynchronous courses on difficult conversations or “Tough Talks” - with parents and guardians and with direct reports. And I’m particularly excited about the live workshop we’re offering on Managing Up Wednesday, July 29th.
April posts - last call before the paywall hits
