Labor Day Letter to a New Administrator

There is nothing like the excitement of a brand new year ahead

Hello, Readers!

It’s Labor Day weekend. Many schools now start before Labor Day but it still packs that emotional, exciting, ringing in the beginning of the school year punch. 

It’s been two months since I have been “out of school” and living on the CT shoreline. Here are a few things I have learned.

It is disorienting yet freeing to not be associated with an institution.

I am grateful every day to have this opportunity to reflect and realize what a privilege this is. 

While I now live somewhere much less rural than I used to, living near the ocean has made me feel connected to nature in a way I’ve never really felt before - paying attention to the tides, seeing weather roll in from a distance, the hush that falls in the evening. It leads to frequent moments of awe.

It has been HOT. Yikes. It makes climate change feel very urgent.

I thought having all this time to unpack my house, I would have a home that looked like an HGTV reveal by Labor Day. Untrue! I have realized that on HGTV show reveals, no one has actually moved all their stuff in yet. So all the pretty accessories, no junk. I am still trying to decide where the junk of daily living goes. But getting there.

Having time to prioritize dog training really does work, so for any of you with reactive dogs out there, there is hope! 

I have written a bit on eldercare, but I haven’t really had the energy to polish or refine it. I find most of that energy is going into actual eldercare and then I don’t have the drive to reflect on it. My parents, knock wood, are both stable and doing pretty well at the moment. Most of my eldercare is trying to be present when I am in their presence. Much more attainable now than when I was a school head. Perhaps I will get to posting the writing in the fall - I know many of you are in this phase of life.

It has been deeply fulfilling to connect and reconnect with other educators and it makes me energized for work ahead.

I have loved writing like I have never loved writing before and more and more, I hope to fashion a life where I can do a lot of it. Your responses have been a big part of that, so I am really grateful for all of YOU.

I am getting ready for my first fall vacation ever, but I will still be posting. Next week, tune in for a call for schools to embrace this (misnamed) phenomenon of “quiet quitting.”

Dear Fellow Leader:

I’ve been thinking a lot about you this summer. It’s so exciting and scary to be a new senior administrator, to feel the opportunity and the weight of the title of “leader” - whatever area you are leading. There’s always that balance and it’s just how you navigate it - do you lean in hard to the hope and optimism with a big smile, hoping no one notices that you stumble a bit when you hit those cracks in the sidewalk? Or do you move forward cautiously and precisely, the gravity of your responsibility influencing each movement? Or are you not thinking about any of this at all, with eyes fixed firmly on the beautiful horizon ahead?

There is no right way; there is only your way. Figuring out your way will take time, some triumphs, and some self-inflicted wounds. There will be gratifying public words of appreciation. There will be successes no one else appreciates as well as hurts no one else sees but that take you a while to nurse privately and put in perspective. That’s part of the gig.

Relationships may not evolve as you expect. Some friends remain, others go by the wayside, new ones emerge. There will be people you pretty much trusted who will reveal that you need to recalculate your original assessment. There will be people who irritate you mightily who you will turn out to both learn a lot from and admire. You will form fulfilling professional partnerships to move the school forward that become dear and unique relationships. You will see sides of your head of school you never expected and, after digesting the reality, appreciate the dawning realization that they, like you, are human.

You will be there for pivotal moments in the lives of families. You will have tissue boxes on hand. You will become privy to personal details you’d rather you did not know and then be awed by the vulnerability with which you have been entrusted. You will redouble your commitment to helping every family. There will be a parent who, in a specific moment of heated disagreement, you will hate with the white hot intensity of the sun -  and another moment with the same parent where you will feel something not far off from love. This doesn’t always happen, but it happens more often than you could predict.

You will see kids progress over the years - kids you gave that extra financial aid, kids you got into the right class when they were struggling, kids who benefitted from that donation you brought in to fund their program, kids who needed a different advisor or roommate, kids who really needed their parents to agree to counseling. They will never really know the role you played in their success but it doesn’t make it any less sweet. You will feel a general, benevolent responsibility towards all the kids even though most of your day is spent at a remove. This will grow with time and your heart grows to accommodate.

Faculty are people, doing people things. People are infinite in their potential and infinite in their fragility. Life is hard, even when it is full of love and purpose, and we do our best. The unconscious is vast. You will be awed by the most astonishing feats of generosity and kindness from faculty towards students and families and often, each other. Witnessing those moments is a blessing and you can feel the inspiration making you stretch to be a better person. And then sometimes after a faculty meeting, you will also puzzle over how faculty can be so immune to reason. You will find, over and over again, the cliche is true - no good deed goes unpunished. These are the same people and a little piece of you will never cease to marvel.

But what would a life be without good deeds? 

You will have moments every year when you wonder why you are doing this job and other moments where you feel incredibly lucky to be doing this job. In the moments of doubt, return to the kids and the mission - what is right to serve these kids who are here for this mission? Lean into the sense that you are part of something greater, because you are.

You have been entrusted with a great amount of power and influence and that is a sacred thing. You have the power to shape and expand the “something greater” of this institution. You are also replaceable, because ultimately we all are. In the end, all jobs are temporary. It’s like the proverb where one slip of paper says “you are the universe” and the other says “you are a speck of dust.” Reread whatever one you need on a given day. The less it is about you, the better but the more it is about the values you stand for as a leader, the better. That will continue to evolve over time, step by step, inch by inch.

It’s quite a moment to be a leader. You are in the front row seat for a major evolution in education. You will see a lot of articles about how you can be a better boss, how you can influence the trends in teacher turnover. If nothing else, please keep in mind there are major cultural shifts underway that we are all only beginning to grasp. Not everything is in your control. (I know you hate that idea, but it’s true and it can be freeing to embrace.) The people who write these articles and pass along this data are well meaning and there are grains of truth to get you to click on it - but it’s not the whole story. You and your school are not immune to these forces and it is futile to try and hold back the tide. Be honest with your school community; it’s complicated for everyone right now as we pick up the pieces. Be a human and expect the same of others.

And for today, you have that meeting to attend, that parent to call, that student to locate. You have another chance to really show up for others. You have another chance to figure out who you are and who you want to be, for today and for tomorrow. There is a good chance you will experience joy today and how many people can say that about their jobs? You are a lucky person who gets to improve the lives of kids.

Savor everything.

Julie